Peppercorn Steak

We had some steaks that D's mom had given us, and he really likes pepper. So I decided to just do a simple peppercorn steak. I had high hopes. Oh, did I have high hopes. I decided to put the peppercorns in a bag and coarsely crush them with my rolling pin. Problem #1, peppercorns don't crush easily. D had to come put some muscle into it, I guess he didn't appreciate my loud banging on the counter. Finally they were mostly all crushed. I swore there were only like 3 whole ones left. And I figured that would be ok...wrong. I salted the steaks and then poured the pepper on. The first thing that came out was probably 8 whole peppercorns. Oh geez. I tried to pick the whole ones off. I was getting frustrated and just decided to push on. I had my hot pan going with a little oil in it and I threw in the first steak (our pan was only big enough to do one at a time). It sounded like it was cooking well. I was starting to get my hopes up again that this was going to be the best steak ever. Then, it started. The fumes began to circulate. I started to feel the sting in my throat. The windows were already open and the fan was running. But it was no use. All that pepper was just too much. Remember the Seinfeld episode where Frank returns to cooking? Everything in slow motion. That's how I remember this dinner. The kitchen was hazy and smoke-filled. I managed to finish the first steak. I called out to D for help. I knew I was going down. He came in with a ski mask covering his face. Rocky (our black lab) began barking at the burglar-looking man in our kitchen. I handed off the spatula and managed to crawl outside to the fresh air. I watched from outside as he bravely finished off the other two steaks. After the fumes had thinned a little I managed to steam some broccoli before the steaks were ready. Ok, maybe I exaggerated a little. But it was bad. I've decided anything spicy will from now on be cooked outside. In hindsight, I should have just gone to the store and bought some charcoal. It wasn't too terrible in the end. The steaks were a little well done, and it just wasn't flavorful enough. We ended up just using some A1. At least the broccoli was good.

I would write the recipe, but I've really already told you everything. Just read through the drama.